losing another granny on the 16th of May!

         I can't believe that now when I want to call granny, who am I suppose to call? I don't have any granny at my side now... lost my dad's mom last year and this year, my mom's mom. Going to Canada was one of my dream; I had always wanted to go to Canada to meet my granny(mom's mom) because when I was small, she brought me up till three years old. I also had always wanted to go to Canada because my childhood friends are there and I also got lots of aunts and uncles there. Now when my granny is no more, I don't know if there is any use of going to Canada. Nowadays I feel so tired, I feel like there is no reasons to live further cos once I think about what I want to do in future, it scares me! Will continue writing it later when I have the mood too. cos now it's too noisy and it's distracting my concentration!